Let’s start with a joint breathing exercise before you read this post any further. Take a deep breath…. and go out. Remember that this is just one person’s experience and personal life story. So you don’t have to rush to the freezer and pull the whole bag of corn, peas and peppers into your mouth, even if your experience is completely the opposite. I even like to hear different stories, because it always creates hope for something better. Let’s get started. Here are my 5 reasons why friendship in your twenties was much better than in your thirties. As a disclaimer, I can’t say about forty, because I’ve only just moved to this side and I haven’t accumulated enough data.
1. Children wither friendships. I have noticed this especially with female friends. They are the ones who always have to cancel appointments at the last minute because the child is sick. They are the ones who forget birthdays, anniversaries, other shared friendship milestones, because the island of peak years can’t fit that one childless friend. They are the ones who bring the children to the meeting because the partner cannot watch the child for a couple of hours alone. By the way, it’s exciting that the partner, often assumed to be a man, never has to cancel his own expenses because of the child’s flu.
2. A cursed calendar prevents spontaneous meetings. Do you remember the time when all you had to do was send a text message to a friend saying see you in 30 minutes under Stocka’s clock? And that meeting was successful with 99% certainty. Nowadays, we exchange letters as much as a novel, so that we can fit someone’s short coffee time into the calendar 3 months from now. And with a high probability, one will cancel at the last minute, one’s child will get sick, one will forget the whole meeting and one will be so fucked up that he would like to remove himself from the shared Whatsapp group.
4. “We” may not get there then. At what point does your dating partner become the person you have to drag everywhere? If you get an invitation somewhere that your spouse can’t go, you won’t come either. This happens very often these days. My friend’s other half spends the obligatory hour in the corner, after which they both leave the party. Absolutely charming. We don’t even start with those spouses who think that the dating relationship is a gifted instrument of power exercise, in which case you can, as a dictator, define who you meet and under what conditions.
5. Number of friends vs. quality. In my twenties, I had a large group of close friends, acquaintances and friends. There was always someone to go to the movies with, go out with, do hobbies with. With age, for example, friendships with male friends have completely ceased. In general, their dating relationship has led to the fact that it has been a condition of breaking the friendship with a single woman. Which is really sad. Nowadays, there are a small handful of friends, whom you rarely see. If you want to do something, you often get to do it alone or you have to coax your date along. Loneliness is present in a completely different way than when you were younger.
